Why You Can't Afford To Forgo Your Values To Experience Fulfilling Relationships
When it comes to personal and professional relationships, it is essential to take the time to define your relationship values to avoid confusion, disrespect, manipulation, or feeling like the last priority. Knowing your values will help you attract healthy people and weed out the toxic ones, so you can live a stress-free lifestyle. There’s nothing more painful than dealing with a person who thinks they walk all over you and treat you however they wish.
What Are Relationship Values?
Relationship values are beliefs and thoughts that you hold dear and near to your heart for a healthy relationship based on what you need to be fulfilled in the connection. They are must-have qualities and characteristics you desire when interacting with someone so the interactions and engagements feel mutually respectful.
Your values give you clarity and deeper understanding, so you immediately can recognize when a person has violated your personal limit. Not only do your values hold meaning for self-respect, but they honor your self-worth so you know how to advocate for yourself when facing adversity or relationship challenges. Choosing your top five relationship values helps you know who’s a good fit and who’s not as values are the source of stability and strength.
For example, if someone has completely different personal or professional values than you, it may be challenging to have a conversation or for them to respect your business services. On the other hand, when you have similar values it's much easier to speak up and address misunderstandings if differences do arise because you will have similar beliefs and values. When you take the time to define your relationship values, you are essentially creating a roadmap for the types of relationships that you want in your life.
Why Are Relationship Values Important?
The reason your values are so important is that they are connected to your emotions, and what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate from others. Values are also helpful when it comes to resolving conflict to set boundaries because you are able to identify from a place of value versus emotion to resolve the relationship issue. If we solely depend on emotion to solve problems when we are frustrated or feeling undervalued, most likely we will not be able to reach a mutual agreement. In fact, emotion adds more fuel to the fire and leaves greater frustration.
When it comes to relationships, it is so important to choose which values you want for your personal relationships and what values you want for professional connections. They could be similar, such as communication, integrity, time, responsibility, and growth. Or you may wish to choose separate values for personal and professional relationships.
Keep in mind, you don't need all of your values to align but two or three can be helpful in knowing if the relationship can go the extra mile and be beneficial for both parties. Since all people aren’t healthy or beneficial to our lifestyle, it is crucial that you know what you want and need from a relationship before getting involved. By having a clear set of relationship values, you can avoid wasting your time on relationships that are not right for you.
How Do I Define My Relationship Values?
The first step is to make a list of the things that are most important to you in a relationship. If that’s difficult, think about a time when someone betrayed your trust or made you feel insignificant. These experiences can help shed light on the values of trust and mutual respect.
Once you have your list of values, narrow it down to your top five values. Once you have done that, you will have a clear understanding of what you need in your relationships where you can feel valued, powerful, and respected. It's important to honor your values every day in life, as we can only ask for things we are willing to live by and maintain personal integrity.
Defining your relationship values is an essential part of attracting healthy personal and professional relationships. By taking the time to do so, you will be able to save yourself from wasting time on toxic people who are self-consumed and transactional. Use the tips above to help you create a list of your own personal relationship values.
Looking for more guidance? Check out our boundary coaching.
