Are You Abandoning Yourself?


Do you struggle with trusting yourself to choose the best partner?

Do you get overwhelmed when you don’t get what you want in the exact moment?

Do you neglect parts of yourself that don’t live up to your standards based on your feelings, beliefs, or relationship goals?


If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are abandoning yourself and preventing from getting your needs met. 


Self-abandonment keeps you from living a fulfilling lifestyle and attracting the love you deserve with a partner. As long you continue to put your worth in the hands of others by seeking external validation, you will continue to feel less of a person. When this occurs, it makes it challenging to have a healthy relationship with yourself and a partner. 


You are no longer honoring yourself, therefore a partner will not see the value you provide in their life.  


Your self-worth comes from your internal strength and value you give yourself without the attachment of another person or thing. If you keep looking externally to get your needs met with the opposite sex or materialistic items, you will continue to fail at loving yourself the way you need to be loved. 


Here are some examples of self-abandonment: 

  1. Codependency 

  2. Perfectionism

  3. Self-Criticism 

  4. Judgment

  5. Lack of Value System In Place

  6. Failure To Set Healthy Boundaries

  7. Ignore Your Emotional Needs

  8. Unable To Trust Yourself

  9. People Pleaser

  10. Suppress Emotions Through External Validation

  11. Disconnect From Your Authentic Self

Human beings tend to abandon themselves when they don’t trust their abilities to choose what’s best for their lifestyle. They lack the skill set to nurture their own mind, body, and spirit because they were never taught how as a child.


During your early developmental years, your parents either pampered or neglected your emotional or physical needs when you were experiencing a stressful situation. Regardless of these parenting styles, neither was able to help you meet your needs, resulting in the inability to believe you are lovable or worthy. It may seem like pampering would be meet your needs, but it prohibits you from developing your own self-soothing skills. 


There’s a famous quote, “Never do for a child what a child can do for themselves” by Rudolf Dreikurs. This actually teaches a child to work through their feelings and find ways to nurture their needs by caring for themselves. As you can see, it’s a fine line of giving a child too much or not enough at all for them to feel the same way internally about themselves. If you don’t take the time to understand this about yourself, you will end-up facing challenges in your romantic adult relationships. 


Self-abandonment keeps negativity and toxic energy inside of you when you fail to help yourself heal. If you are the type of person who escapes discomfort by fulfilling your needs with superficial outlets such as television, overuse of technology, sexual behavior, excessive shopping, addictive substances, and self-destructive behaviors, you will continue to abandon your authentic self. 


You abandon your needs when you resort to negative habits instead of what you really need, self-love.