5 Tips For Negotiating To Get What You Want With Your Partner


healthy communication with partner

Negotiating with your partner, no matter how hard you try, is likely to be an uncomfortable experience. The conversation may become intense, bringing up years of history filled with resentment and unresolved feelings. 


However, you and your partner must be able to set aside old grudges and come to an agreement, especially if you want to repair your relationship and create a win-win outcome. 


The unfortunate reality for many couples is that conflict is inevitable during the growth journey. The quicker you can see conflict as a positive, the sooner you will be able to overcome your discomfort because it will be worth the end goal. How you handle the conflict will be a true indicator of how well you work together as a team today and in years to come. 


Here Are 5 Tips For Better Negotiating With Your Partner:


1. Show Empathy

In a negotiation with your partner, as with any negotiation, understanding the other party’s position is a crucial first step to form an agreement. Having empathy for your partner and what they are going through can make a huge difference in the negotiation process. It will not be easy, especially if your partner is hurt, bitter, or angry and takes it out on you. 


Putting yourself in your partner’s shoes is part of having a successful relationship where both of you are satisfied and fulfilled. You are more likely to be kind to someone you empathize with, and if you have children, you are setting an example for them as well. 


2. Practice Emotional State Management

Arguments can bring up a lot of negative emotions to the surface, which may lead you to regrettable actions with consequences down the line. In order to curb these negative emotions, remember to practice self-care and self-love exercises on a consistent basis.

Self-care includes getting enough sleep, eating nutrient-dense meals, and physical exercise. Whereas, self-love includes positive self-talk, daily gratitudes, and journaling. 


Implementing emotional state management techniques can equip you with a more positive attitude going into the negotiation. It is also important to remember that only you can control how you feel. On the same note, realize that you cannot control what your partner does or says. However, you have a choice in how you respond to their choice of words or actions. This means staying outside of verbal attacks and only focusing on the facts of the problem, not the sensation of emotion. 


Since your partner has known you for a long time, they know exactly how to get under your skin. If they jab with a rude statement, ask them “how come you are trying to provoke me when we are trying to find alignment as a team?” This allows you to remain in your position as a powerful partner and get striving ahead towards your ultimate goal. 


Also, be aware of your own trigger points, so you don’t get in your own way of the outcome you want to achieve with your partner. If you allow these triggers to personally affect you, they will impact the negotiation process in a negative way. This will defeat receiving what you need from your partner.